Grateful

Sometimes it is just hard to remember to be thankful and happy. 

Here are the things that have been serving as a daily reminder this week!

1. Mumford and Sons

My friend Amy and I are getting ready for the Mumford and Sons concert here in Lincoln in August. I cannot wait! They are inspiring and talented and so folky that I think an outdoor amphitheater is probably the best possible venue.

2. Anthony Kiedis, Scar Tissue

I picked up this autobiography at the recommendation of Rachel, and though I couldn't name a Red Hot Chili Peppers song before a week ago, I am now fully infatuated with the band, and with Kiedis. His writing is honest and enlightened and just melodramatic enough to be moving. My favorite quote: "We used to be so at ease with supporting each other in the best possible way. The weird sense of competition that's always been present between us didn't interfere with our singular purpose at that time. We were just happy to have a spotlight and happy to share it. I guess symbiosis is something that fades in time for no good reason. It's sad." 

3. Online shopping. Yeah, sorry about it, I've been spending a little money on clothes. But let's be real, I need a new wardrobe for the fall, and it's not like I'm squandering away thousands of dollars on dresses and shoes. Most of my shopping is done at the Gap, and the most "high end" I get is buying a $32 headband at Anthropologie. 

4. The Fourth of July! I opted not to go to the big family shindig this year, simply because I really like having the whole house to myself and it doesn't happen very often. So my agenda for the 4th of July includes sleeping in, working out, going to see Moonrise Kingdom, baking some cookies and then going to shoot off fireworks with some of my best friends. I think it will be a delightful day.

5. My Mama. No matter how old I get, I still know that my mom is my biggest supporter and my best friend. The nicest nights are spent watching Brothers and Sisters on the couch and eating food that's not very good for us. I am not scared of many things concerning my upcoming study abroad trip, but the one thing I know is going to be terrifying will be saying goodbye to her at the airport and knowing I won't be able to demand that she "love me!!" whenever I feel needy in the next three months. 

Have a great week, and a fun Fourth!

As Bob Dylan Once Said...

"What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between he does what he wants to do."

"When you feel in your gut what you are and then dynamically pursue it - don't back down and don't give up - then you're going to mystify a lot of folks."

"Every pleasure's got an edge of pain, pay your ticket and don't complain."

"You better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone, for the times they are a-changin'."

"Everything passes, everything changes, just do what you think you should do." 

Another Travelin' Song - Conor Oberst, Emmylou Harris

"I'm saying nothin' in the past or future will ever feel like today." 

Love and Happiness

This year has been the best year of my life - 2012 has been extremely kind to me, and I am VERY grateful for that! Not only did I find an awesome roommate and best friend, I was also given the chance to study abroad in the fall and I have been fortunate to have not only one but two stable jobs. I am blessed with great friends and a loving family. In all, I couldn't imagine having had a better year, and it's only June.

However, recently I've noticed an unsettling trend amongst my friends and acquaintances that occurs when I mention that I'll be studying overseas. Typically the first thing people say when I tell them (after, "Where will you be going?") is "Wow, I cannot wait to meet the beautiful Italian boy you'll fall in love with." They usually then proceed to tell me about a cousin/friend/coworker who went to study in some faraway place and came back with a fiancee. While this is kind of sweet, and I appreciate the excitement about my currently-non-existent love life, there's kind of an underlying pressure here: "Hope it goes better for you over there because America clearly hasn't been cutting it for you."

Frankly, I think this is just silly. No one ever mentions how exciting it is that I will have the world literally at my feet - I can travel to any country that I want, and I can do it by myself. I am self-sufficient, I am in control, and I am learning how to take care of myself. No one ever mentions how cool it is that I get to pick up a third language, one that mere weeks ago I couldn't even say "Please" and "Thank you" in. No one wants to talk about how much of a headache it is to get visa papers in order, or how much fun it was picking an apartment to live in, or even what kind of classes I'll be taking. All anyone (not counting my mother or my roommate, because let's be real, they usually say the right thing) wants to talk about is my impending romantic affair with some brawny, scruffy Italian man.

And sure, perhaps that will happen. Maybe I'll get over there, and some guy will be really, really impressed at the amount of pasta I can eat in one setting (as a side note: I've been training for this my entire life), and we'll fall madly in love and we'll be happy together for a long, long time.

But in all reality, that could just as easily happen here. I could be sitting in Fazoli's scarfing down my sixth breadstick when some man suddenly approaches me and compliments me on the rockin' bod I've managed to keep while eating eight times the normal carbohydrate intake for someone my age. No one knows! No one has any idea what this trip is going to bring for me in terms of the relationships I form, and in all honesty, I'd prefer people just kept their far-fetched ideas of an 'exotic love affair' to themselves. When I deign to enter a relationship with a guy, it's going to be because he is awesome, and he wants to travel with me, and he loves me for who I am. He's not going to be my protector, he's not going to be my financial provider, he's not even going to be my best friend. He's going to be a guy that I'm in love with - asking him to be anything else is a lot of pressure to put on one person. When I find that guy, he's going to be sweet and he's going to love the silly things about me that most people don't like and he's going to make me believe that he truly is "the best thing that ever happened to me," like Ray LaMontagne says.

Going to a foreign country isn't about finding a boyfriend. It's not about settling down with some rich prince, or whatever people seem to think happens when a college girl goes overseas. It's about me figuring out what I need to be happy, and figuring out if the plans I have for my life are really possible. If a boy happens to saunter in while all that is going on, then fine! I'm happy to have him there. But I just wish it weren't the first thing people ask about.

This guy, whoever and wherever he is, is going to be fantastic, and I am sure I am going to love him more than I can understand right now. But he is not going to be the motivation behind my every move. He's going to be what he's always been, what he was before we ever met: another human being. One with hopes and dreams and excitement about the future. He'll just have someone to share it with.

One of my favorite lyrics is from the Mumford and Sons song Sigh No More: "Love, it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free; make you more like the man you were made to be." I've done a lot of thinking and a lot of observing over the past few months in order to figure out what I think a healthy relationship should be, and this lyric sums it up better than any words I could use. Love is finding someone who can give you what you need and teach you about things you didn't understand. It isn't about having money or being exotic or even being 'the perfect couple.' It's about being happy, and if I manage to find a guy who makes me feel as happy as I've been this year, whether he's from Milan or Milwaukee, I'll know I'm doing things right.

In the Summertime

Summer playlist:

1. Abraham's Daughter - Arcade Fire

2. There Goes the Fear - Doves

3. You Are the Best Thing - Ray LaMontagne

4. American Music - Violent Femmes

5. Cough Syrup - Young the Giant

6. Laundry Room - The Avett Brothers

7. I've Got this Friend - The Civil Wars

8. The Kids Don't Stand a Chance - Vampire Weekend

9. I Shall Be Released - Bob Dylan

10. It'll All Work Out - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

11. Corona and Lime - Shwayze

12. Someday - The Strokes

13. Hannah - Ray LaMontagne

14. Lust for Life - Girls

15. Come Away to the Water - Maroon 5

16. Careful - Guster

17. Ne Me Quitte Pas - Regina Spektor

18. More Than Anyone - Gavin DeGraw

19. Hey Ya - Outkast

20. Wild Ones - Timeflies Tuesday 

Summer has been full of so many fun things: 

-Working! I'm working a pretty fair amount at the music library, and I was planning to work at Red Mango but since they have been so slow, I don't have many hours there. So I've applied for another job in hopes of adding to or replacing the hours I'm missing!

-Seeing all of my friends. Sarah, who has her own house, has been having the posse over pretty often, and holding large gatherings for a lot of our high school friends who have been out of town. We play games and eat a lot of food and have a grand 'ole time. Sometimes that same group of us goes to Trivia Night at Applebee's or we watch movies at Beau's house, but overall we've just missed each other a lot and are having a lot of fun catching up. This week I also got to go to Omaha with Rachel, who was housesitting for her aunt and uncle. We got to sleep in at their big, fancy house, make a great breakfast, do some shopping, go to dinner, and watch movies. I had missed her so much, and I had a wonderful time hanging with her! :) 

-Planning Italy. Working on visa paperwork, learning to speak Italian via Rosetta Stone and busuu.com, and reading up on the culture and cuisine of the region where I'll be. I'm so excited!!

-Working out. I had been doing a REALLY good job of exercising regularly throughout the week while I was at school, but I haven't had much time since Dead Week. Yesterday I decided it was time to get back out there and start running again, and while it was painful and sweaty and disgusting, I'm sure it'll get better, and I'll have a strong, healthy body to show for it!

-Cooking! Here's the recipes I'm looking to try this week:

Penne Rosa with Shrimp - adapted from the Noodles and Co. dish

Orange Creamsicle Cookies

Black Bean and Guacamole Burritos

Hope everyone's been having a good week and a great summer!

<3

Movin' Out, Movin' In

Well, year one of college is done!

Last week I moved all my stuff out of the dorm room, said goodbye to my best friend and roommate, and moved back in to my parents' house. It's been a VERY strange adjustment, particularly because my closest friends have, for the most part, retreated to different states and sometimes it feels pretty lonely when you can't walk down the hall and knock on your friend's door to say hello. 

So here's what I've been doing to take my mind off missing my friends and college and living on campus: 

Finding new music

"The Kids Don't Stand A Chance" - Vampire Weekend

"Hannah" - Ray Lamontagne

"Atlantic City" - The Band

Learning Italian

(It's super exciting!! I'm learning all sorts of fun phrases that will hopefully come in handy while I'm abroad.)

Painting My Nails

(Essie is my new favorite brand. So cute.)

Painting

Using these as inspiration!

Cooking

Brie Croque Monsieur sandwiches and roasted tomato soup. The sandwiches were delish, but the soup did not turn out quite like I intended!

Hope everyone's having a great week - I'm off to bed before getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Here's What I've Learned, Folks.

Planning to leave the country under the watchful eye of a university is very difficult. 

It would be one thing if I were just to say, "See ya, U.S. I'm out." 

It's an entirely different thing to try and enroll in a foreign university.

Here are the things that I've been working on: 

1. Getting a visa. AKA "Surprise! You cannot just leave the country for more than 90 days without the permission of our government and yours. To obtain that permission, you'd better take a nice trip down to Chicago and see the Italian consulate." 

2. Housing for when I return. The housing while I am in Milan is going to be VERY cool - all apartments that I share with two or three other roommates. It was just a problem of where I was going to live when I returned home. We didn't want to spend the money canceling and refilling out contracts with UNL's Housing Department, so (as I am extremely excited to report), we will be apartment shopping!

3. Airfare. I love airplanes. I love airports. I love traveling. The only thing I don't love is trying to find a flight that doesn't cost the rest of my college tuition.

So, those are the things that may have not been so fun. But here are the things that I have had so much fun doing: 

1. Planning my classes. 

2. Planning my excursions. 

3. Planning what I'm going to eat and wear and bring and buy.

4. Planning what Mom and I are going to do when she comes to get me at the end of my adventure. 

5. Planning the kind of camera I want to get to take beautiful pictures with.

6. Planning the gifts I'll bring back for my friends. 

7. Planning, planning, planning EVERYTHING. 

I am so grateful. This is the trip of a lifetime. 

Hope everyone is having a wonderful week! 

My Obsessions (this week, anyway)

The best thing about college is that trends, culture, and new ideas spread fast - it's easy to find new obsessions in a variety of different places. Here's a couple of things that I've been loving this week: 

1. The Hunger Games movie 

I read the books a while ago and while I wasn't as impressed with the movie as I wanted to be, I am totally infatuated with Jennifer Lawrence, the star of the movie. She is strong, she is capable, and she is entirely herself no matter where she is. I also love that she has a normal shaped body - she isn't stick thin, and she isn't a size 2 deemed "curvy." She's just normal. 

2. M. Ward's "Magic Trick" 

"It's like, now you see her, now you don't. 

You think you're gonna get to know her but oh, now you won't.

She's got one magic trick, just one and that's it

She disappears." 

3. All Italy related things

Two days ago I received an email telling me I had been "placed and confirmed" in Milan to study abroad in the fall. While I'm going to miss my friends and family terribly, I am so excited to get started planning and spend some time in one of the most beautiful cities in the world!

4. Summer, summer, summer

5. One Tree Hill

This week, One Tree Hill ended after 9 successful seasons on the air. One Tree Hill has been one of my favorite shows for many years now, and though it is cheesy and irrelevant to modern day pop culture and sometimes entirely too unrealistic, I love it, and it has taught me more than anyone probably realizes. 

One of my favorite quotes comes from season six: "Sometimes happiness doesn't come from money or fame or power. Sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family and the quiet nobility of leading a good life. Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do. So take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy because you deserve to be. Believe that." 

Hope everyone's having a great week!