Italy

Over the next few days, I'm going to be trying to move a lot of my Tumblr posts over to this site - don't be alarmed, I will still be updating my Tumblr exclusively, but this way I'll have all of my content in one place when I come back to the United States!

Summer Catchup

Well, goodness gracious, I have a LOT of catching up today! 

Summer has been really, really wonderful so far and I am happy to say that it looks like it can only get better from here. In July, we took a trip to Minnesota where we helped Grandma and Grandpa clean out the cabin and get it ready to sell. That was probably the most emotionally taxing part of the vacation for everyone involved - that cabin has been a part of my life since before I can remember, and without the calm waters and gentle birds to return to, I have felt a little lost the past few weeks. But I know it is for the best, and I know that Minnesota will always be there to welcome me home, whether the physical structure belongs to my family or not. 

After cleaning out the cabin, we spent some time in Minneapolis at the Mall of America and the Minnesota Zoo before Mom and I said our goodbyes and headed to CHICAGO! We had to apply for my visa in person, and luckily for us, it went wonderfully. The woman at the counter was sweet and patient and impressed that I had all of my paperwork in order, but the best part was sitting in the waiting room listening to two old men converse in rapid-fire Italian and finally feel a stirring of excitement about the adventure I was about to take. If I could've shook those men's hands and thanked them, I would have because it meant the world to me to feel confident that I could take this trip and be just fine. 

Upon returning to Nebraska, we started the frenzy of packing up my room and moving into my new apartment! Last night was my first night there, and while I'm not going to say that I was never overwhelmed, I had a great first night and it only keeps getting more exciting. Today I rolled out of bed and got ready for work, but this afternoon I think I'll mosey on down to the Haymarket and buy some coffee, and then make some lunch and maybe walk over to the library. I've forgotten how utterly easy it is to find everything I need within walking distance on campus. 

So summer has been crazy! But it has all been worth it, and I think the extensive travel and constant change has helped me really prepare to go abroad in a month. In the meantime, here are some of the little things that have stayed with me this month: 

Brothers and Sisters, a show that Mom and Dad and I have been watching on Netflix recently. The sassy characters and dramatic story lines have stuck with me like no TV show has stuck with me in a long time! My favorite character is Kevin, the sassy gay lawyer who always gets the best lines and always has the cutest facial expressions.

"All You Need Is Love" - Dad spent this summer planning and teaching a Beatles class at the university, so the British band has been echoing around our house pretty frequently lately. This is, and always will be, one of my favorite Beatles songs. 

Shel Silverstein's The Missing Piece:

"Are you anybody else's missing piece?"

"Not that I know of."

"Well maybe you want to be your own piece?"

"I can be someone's and still my own."

Hope everyone is having a great week!

Grateful

Sometimes it is just hard to remember to be thankful and happy. 

Here are the things that have been serving as a daily reminder this week!

1. Mumford and Sons

My friend Amy and I are getting ready for the Mumford and Sons concert here in Lincoln in August. I cannot wait! They are inspiring and talented and so folky that I think an outdoor amphitheater is probably the best possible venue.

2. Anthony Kiedis, Scar Tissue

I picked up this autobiography at the recommendation of Rachel, and though I couldn't name a Red Hot Chili Peppers song before a week ago, I am now fully infatuated with the band, and with Kiedis. His writing is honest and enlightened and just melodramatic enough to be moving. My favorite quote: "We used to be so at ease with supporting each other in the best possible way. The weird sense of competition that's always been present between us didn't interfere with our singular purpose at that time. We were just happy to have a spotlight and happy to share it. I guess symbiosis is something that fades in time for no good reason. It's sad." 

3. Online shopping. Yeah, sorry about it, I've been spending a little money on clothes. But let's be real, I need a new wardrobe for the fall, and it's not like I'm squandering away thousands of dollars on dresses and shoes. Most of my shopping is done at the Gap, and the most "high end" I get is buying a $32 headband at Anthropologie. 

4. The Fourth of July! I opted not to go to the big family shindig this year, simply because I really like having the whole house to myself and it doesn't happen very often. So my agenda for the 4th of July includes sleeping in, working out, going to see Moonrise Kingdom, baking some cookies and then going to shoot off fireworks with some of my best friends. I think it will be a delightful day.

5. My Mama. No matter how old I get, I still know that my mom is my biggest supporter and my best friend. The nicest nights are spent watching Brothers and Sisters on the couch and eating food that's not very good for us. I am not scared of many things concerning my upcoming study abroad trip, but the one thing I know is going to be terrifying will be saying goodbye to her at the airport and knowing I won't be able to demand that she "love me!!" whenever I feel needy in the next three months. 

Have a great week, and a fun Fourth!

As Bob Dylan Once Said...

"What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between he does what he wants to do."

"When you feel in your gut what you are and then dynamically pursue it - don't back down and don't give up - then you're going to mystify a lot of folks."

"Every pleasure's got an edge of pain, pay your ticket and don't complain."

"You better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone, for the times they are a-changin'."

"Everything passes, everything changes, just do what you think you should do." 

Another Travelin' Song - Conor Oberst, Emmylou Harris

"I'm saying nothin' in the past or future will ever feel like today." 

Love and Happiness

This year has been the best year of my life - 2012 has been extremely kind to me, and I am VERY grateful for that! Not only did I find an awesome roommate and best friend, I was also given the chance to study abroad in the fall and I have been fortunate to have not only one but two stable jobs. I am blessed with great friends and a loving family. In all, I couldn't imagine having had a better year, and it's only June.

However, recently I've noticed an unsettling trend amongst my friends and acquaintances that occurs when I mention that I'll be studying overseas. Typically the first thing people say when I tell them (after, "Where will you be going?") is "Wow, I cannot wait to meet the beautiful Italian boy you'll fall in love with." They usually then proceed to tell me about a cousin/friend/coworker who went to study in some faraway place and came back with a fiancee. While this is kind of sweet, and I appreciate the excitement about my currently-non-existent love life, there's kind of an underlying pressure here: "Hope it goes better for you over there because America clearly hasn't been cutting it for you."

Frankly, I think this is just silly. No one ever mentions how exciting it is that I will have the world literally at my feet - I can travel to any country that I want, and I can do it by myself. I am self-sufficient, I am in control, and I am learning how to take care of myself. No one ever mentions how cool it is that I get to pick up a third language, one that mere weeks ago I couldn't even say "Please" and "Thank you" in. No one wants to talk about how much of a headache it is to get visa papers in order, or how much fun it was picking an apartment to live in, or even what kind of classes I'll be taking. All anyone (not counting my mother or my roommate, because let's be real, they usually say the right thing) wants to talk about is my impending romantic affair with some brawny, scruffy Italian man.

And sure, perhaps that will happen. Maybe I'll get over there, and some guy will be really, really impressed at the amount of pasta I can eat in one setting (as a side note: I've been training for this my entire life), and we'll fall madly in love and we'll be happy together for a long, long time.

But in all reality, that could just as easily happen here. I could be sitting in Fazoli's scarfing down my sixth breadstick when some man suddenly approaches me and compliments me on the rockin' bod I've managed to keep while eating eight times the normal carbohydrate intake for someone my age. No one knows! No one has any idea what this trip is going to bring for me in terms of the relationships I form, and in all honesty, I'd prefer people just kept their far-fetched ideas of an 'exotic love affair' to themselves. When I deign to enter a relationship with a guy, it's going to be because he is awesome, and he wants to travel with me, and he loves me for who I am. He's not going to be my protector, he's not going to be my financial provider, he's not even going to be my best friend. He's going to be a guy that I'm in love with - asking him to be anything else is a lot of pressure to put on one person. When I find that guy, he's going to be sweet and he's going to love the silly things about me that most people don't like and he's going to make me believe that he truly is "the best thing that ever happened to me," like Ray LaMontagne says.

Going to a foreign country isn't about finding a boyfriend. It's not about settling down with some rich prince, or whatever people seem to think happens when a college girl goes overseas. It's about me figuring out what I need to be happy, and figuring out if the plans I have for my life are really possible. If a boy happens to saunter in while all that is going on, then fine! I'm happy to have him there. But I just wish it weren't the first thing people ask about.

This guy, whoever and wherever he is, is going to be fantastic, and I am sure I am going to love him more than I can understand right now. But he is not going to be the motivation behind my every move. He's going to be what he's always been, what he was before we ever met: another human being. One with hopes and dreams and excitement about the future. He'll just have someone to share it with.

One of my favorite lyrics is from the Mumford and Sons song Sigh No More: "Love, it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free; make you more like the man you were made to be." I've done a lot of thinking and a lot of observing over the past few months in order to figure out what I think a healthy relationship should be, and this lyric sums it up better than any words I could use. Love is finding someone who can give you what you need and teach you about things you didn't understand. It isn't about having money or being exotic or even being 'the perfect couple.' It's about being happy, and if I manage to find a guy who makes me feel as happy as I've been this year, whether he's from Milan or Milwaukee, I'll know I'm doing things right.

In the Summertime

Summer playlist:

1. Abraham's Daughter - Arcade Fire

2. There Goes the Fear - Doves

3. You Are the Best Thing - Ray LaMontagne

4. American Music - Violent Femmes

5. Cough Syrup - Young the Giant

6. Laundry Room - The Avett Brothers

7. I've Got this Friend - The Civil Wars

8. The Kids Don't Stand a Chance - Vampire Weekend

9. I Shall Be Released - Bob Dylan

10. It'll All Work Out - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

11. Corona and Lime - Shwayze

12. Someday - The Strokes

13. Hannah - Ray LaMontagne

14. Lust for Life - Girls

15. Come Away to the Water - Maroon 5

16. Careful - Guster

17. Ne Me Quitte Pas - Regina Spektor

18. More Than Anyone - Gavin DeGraw

19. Hey Ya - Outkast

20. Wild Ones - Timeflies Tuesday 

Summer has been full of so many fun things: 

-Working! I'm working a pretty fair amount at the music library, and I was planning to work at Red Mango but since they have been so slow, I don't have many hours there. So I've applied for another job in hopes of adding to or replacing the hours I'm missing!

-Seeing all of my friends. Sarah, who has her own house, has been having the posse over pretty often, and holding large gatherings for a lot of our high school friends who have been out of town. We play games and eat a lot of food and have a grand 'ole time. Sometimes that same group of us goes to Trivia Night at Applebee's or we watch movies at Beau's house, but overall we've just missed each other a lot and are having a lot of fun catching up. This week I also got to go to Omaha with Rachel, who was housesitting for her aunt and uncle. We got to sleep in at their big, fancy house, make a great breakfast, do some shopping, go to dinner, and watch movies. I had missed her so much, and I had a wonderful time hanging with her! :) 

-Planning Italy. Working on visa paperwork, learning to speak Italian via Rosetta Stone and busuu.com, and reading up on the culture and cuisine of the region where I'll be. I'm so excited!!

-Working out. I had been doing a REALLY good job of exercising regularly throughout the week while I was at school, but I haven't had much time since Dead Week. Yesterday I decided it was time to get back out there and start running again, and while it was painful and sweaty and disgusting, I'm sure it'll get better, and I'll have a strong, healthy body to show for it!

-Cooking! Here's the recipes I'm looking to try this week:

Penne Rosa with Shrimp - adapted from the Noodles and Co. dish

Orange Creamsicle Cookies

Black Bean and Guacamole Burritos

Hope everyone's been having a good week and a great summer!

<3

Movin' Out, Movin' In

Well, year one of college is done!

Last week I moved all my stuff out of the dorm room, said goodbye to my best friend and roommate, and moved back in to my parents' house. It's been a VERY strange adjustment, particularly because my closest friends have, for the most part, retreated to different states and sometimes it feels pretty lonely when you can't walk down the hall and knock on your friend's door to say hello. 

So here's what I've been doing to take my mind off missing my friends and college and living on campus: 

Finding new music

"The Kids Don't Stand A Chance" - Vampire Weekend

"Hannah" - Ray Lamontagne

"Atlantic City" - The Band

Learning Italian

(It's super exciting!! I'm learning all sorts of fun phrases that will hopefully come in handy while I'm abroad.)

Painting My Nails

(Essie is my new favorite brand. So cute.)

Painting

Using these as inspiration!

Cooking

Brie Croque Monsieur sandwiches and roasted tomato soup. The sandwiches were delish, but the soup did not turn out quite like I intended!

Hope everyone's having a great week - I'm off to bed before getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow. Wish me luck!